Online Conversations with a Mentor

[edited]

EIA: unsa imohang 3 goals for this journey man.. what do you expect to find? what do you expect to gain
EIA: it seems to me hap..from a quick look.. you wanted to do some things which you used to do..then you tracked it down..only so that you have more reason to do it.haha so in that case ang imoha rang goal is obey oneself
ME: actually, partly, mau na ang reason. pero naa man na that I don't do. like waking up early and being excellent
ME: 1. find myself again and forgive myself.
ME: 2. change bad habits of procrastination and waking up really late
EIA: cge.. in what way have you lost yourself?
EIA: #1 sah
EIA: ahahaha
ME: ay. maybe naingon na nako because at times, I find myself not giving my best despite doing what I dreamed of doing, which is work for GK.
ME: *this is mind boggling*
ME: haha
ME: and I keep comparing myself to others.
ME: which I find myself doing, sometimes unconsciously. pwd na? hehe
ME: Maybe because everything is new dri and I find myself drowning and adapting what the people around me expects me to be
ME: *lawm2 lagi ni. haha)*
EIA: 2 ways to be lost.. you dont know where you are and going and/or you know that you are in the wrong direction
EIA: you cannot just do something and hope it gets you somewhere you wanted to be..when in the first place you do not know where you wanted to be
EIA: so..how or when can you say that you have found yourself?
ME: amazing lagi ni but kay akong God whispers karon noh kay similar sa imung gsulti.
ME:
Dear Maymay,

Success breeds failure.  Because success makes people complacent.  Don't make that mistake.  No matter how much success you have (and you'll have a lot of it, believe Me), never forget to keep growing and changing.

Watching you with love,
God

P.S. Break what's not broken, Maymay.  What brought you to where you are now may not bring you to where I want you
EIA: so..what is your answer?
EIA: ahaha
EIA: kuwangan mna ug false after sa dear maymay..
EIA: false success breeds failure
ME: I can say that I finally found myself when I'm able to give my best in what I am doing right now.
ME: Mau ra baya na ang nakasuwat but
ME: ako ignon si Bo. Tsk
ME: haha
ME: Pero sakto. kay naglibog sad ko ganina ngano SUCCESS breeds failure.
ME: Kung naay FALSE, it makes more sense
EIA: how do you measure your best?
ME: when I am able to give my all. be able to push myself to wake up earlier, go an extra mile learning all about online marketing and HTML codes. be excellent in my deliverables and be able to deliver them on time.
EIA: ahh.. break between. separate best effort and best results
ME: unsa imung hint. puro ra gani na GK related pero kung apilon ang relationships, I want to able to give time to call up my family and friends as well. to make extra effort to make them realize that they're important to me
ME: hmmmm. lisoda ana oi. haha. mas gusto pakog calculus da
ME: haha
ME: best efforts ---- giving your all.
EIA: that what makes math easy..it does not change..it repeats itself and the results are known
EIA: so what is your best composed of? effort or result?

ME: best results ---- you may come up with one when you give your best efforts and you are doing something that kahibaw gyud ka kay gstudyhan gyud nmu or you've been practicing it for a time now.
ME: actually, currently, i am not being able to give out both.
ME: LIKE: that what makes math easy..it does not change..it repeats itself and the results are known --- TWEETABLE. Haha
EIA: we will eventually find a lot of tweetable, statusable combination of words, phrases that people will like.. but they cease meaning unless they effect in a us more than just being likeable.
EIA: so..moving on.. what best do you want to see in your self - best effort or best result?
ME: both.
EIA: the answer is simple
EIA: in what comparison do you recognize your best?
ME: when I know I am able to push myself to give my best
EIA: like better is between two comparisons.. with what do you compare so you can say that it is now your best?
EIA: example.. just as u use a ruler for measuring..with what do you measure your best against?
EIA: asa nmo gicompare..
EIA: sa imohang answer karun..it seems to me that you mean..
maymay balatayo: aaahh.
EIA: dli na best imong effort if dli pa best ang result..
EIA: the problem that goes with that is you measure your height using a bathroom scale. it can build frustration
EIA: expand - you measure your input effort by the results.. it produces a problem because you will not be able to identify the problem which is a bigger problem..
ME: aaahh.
ME: ing-ana baya ko but. usahay.
EIA: i-research rgud ng metrics.. its how bpo measures themselves.. its a way of measuring what used to be vague by placing parameters
ME: bpo?
EIA: that is my question.. unsa man imohang parameters sa pagmeasure nimo sa imohang best effort?
EIA: bpo - call center gd in usual words..
ME: best results!
EIA: business process outsourcing
EIA: imoha pd nah..pero i suggest, measure effort differently..and measure result
EIA: nganu..because if result ra imohang imeasure..ma-false success pd ka pdung.. it will breed complacency
EIA: because sooner.. some works gains automation/or becomes highly processed..and the result is still the same..but the effort is now lesser
ME: hmmm. sakto pud.
EIA: one streinous thing worth doing..is compete with ones past actions
EIA: in comparison to how you effort before..only then can you say nga ahh best ni nko..ahh.. better ptong ghapon..
EIA: mao man toh ang tinuod nga gibuhat sa fireproof
ME: so lain2 gyud ang pagmeasure sa best gyud.
EIA: he bested himself in the challenge everyday
EIA: if he had did this one before..he did it again and added some more into it
ME: lagi. and bsan lisod buhaton kay buhaton ghapon niya.
EIA: it was least on the difficulty of things..it was on the intensity of doing each one over again..perfecting the demand of love, he was beating his older self
ME: so do we the day 1, day 2, day 3 and so on challenges?
EIA: we can do a lot of things.. but if we keep busy ourselves with the wrong things..we are wasting precious time 

EIA: a marathon does not start at gun point..
EIA: it starts with the wanting to run
Last message received on 12/9/2010 at 3:05 PM

Filipino Bucket List

I was just finishing my bucket list (I edited the bucket list I've written years ago...) when I came across this Filipino Bucket List. I was doing some "bucket list hunting" online while doing the editing. I decided to google "Bucket List of a Filipino" and tadaaaa, I came across a blog that wrote more of a checklist for us Filipinos. And I wanted to do it too!! Thus, this blog. Haha.


Just place an X by all the things you’ve done and remove the X from the ones you have not.

(x) Walked in the flood --- I also did try swimming. No kidding. Back then, when I was a kid and germs and dirt are my friends.
(x) Ate balot (and penoy) --- This I totally looooove!
(x) Ate kambing (goat), ( ) aso (dog) or ( ) bayawak (giant lizard) – I would like to try dog and the bayawak. But just once please.
(x) Ate adidas (chicken feet), helmet (chicken head) or isaw (chicken intestine) --- This I totally loooove too and crave for!
(x) Rode a tricycle
(x) Rode a karitela
( ) Rode a trolley by the houses along the riles (railroad)
( ) Been to the Rice Terraces --- Excited to do this. Sagada!!
( ) Shot the Rapids at Pagsanjan
( ) Gone to the Lanzones Festival
(x) Ate with your fingers on banana leaves --- Boodle fight! A staple GK activity during GK builds.
(x) Ate Taho
( ) Ate aratiles --- What's aratiles again?
(x) Attended Simbang Gabi ( Midnight Mass ) – But never finished the whole set. Must include this in my bucket list.
(x) Played Patintero --- All these street games, I miss!!
(x) Played Tumbang Preso
(x) Played Piko
(x) Played Sungka --- I want to have my own sungka set!
(x) Played with Spiders (Gagamba derby)
( ) Climbed a coconut tree
(x) Danced the Tinikling
(x) Got on a jeepney where you had to stand
(x) Got on a jeepney
() Caught fish in the canal during a rainy day
( ) Participated in Ati-Atihan
(x) Eaten fish head
( ) Got drunk from lambanog (coconut wine)
(x) Attended a Prosesyon (Procession of the Stations of the Cross) during Holy Week
(x) visited an inmate at Bilibid prison
(x) Gone to Baguio – once
( ) Gone to the Sagada
( ) Gone to Palawan.
(x) Gone to the the Visayas --- Bisaya RULES!!!
(x ) Gone to Mindanao --- hoping to travel all throughout Mindanao!
(x) Lived in any other part of the Philippines – Luzon now
(x) Cut class – Guilty. If this means the same as going home just because you don't want to attend that certain class.
(x) Told manananggal, aswang stories during a brownout or rainy night
(x) Slept under a mosquito net
(x) Slept on a banig (mat)
(x) Polished the floor with coco husk (bunot)
(x) Tasted durian --- Tasted and that would be my first and late. Just can't stand the smell.
(x) Ate pandesal filled with condensed milk
(x) Dunked pandesal into hot coffee
(x) Rode a kalabaw --- our "sundo" in Iloilo. I miss my Tatay Diko. :(
(x) Took a bath under a “poso” or by the “ilog” --- BOTH!
(x) Used a pumice stone when taking a bath
(x) Tumulay sa kawayan
(x) Kept vigil at the Cemetery for Nov. 1st
( ) Had their first date in Luneta --- I am doing this!! haha
( ) Have gone inside Malacanang
(x) Gone shopping at Divisoria --- I love the energy of the place!
(x) Has serenaded or has been serenaded (harana) --- We do this in Bohol every time a neighbor celebrates his birthday. Fun!
( ) Gone to Camiguin Islands
( ) Gone shopping in Quiapo
(x) Eaten champorado with chokolate and tuyo
(x) Eaten dirty ice cream – sorbetero ice cream is LOVE!
(x) Greeted your grandparents or elders by kissing their hand or having them touch your forehead
(x) Seen Taal Volcano
( ) Watched the sunset by Manila Bay --- before the Luneta date, we must stopped by here first. Haha.

There you go. That was fun! I need to do all of these! Hope to be able to share my (edited) bucket list here soon too. Paalam!

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was the first day of the Liturgical Year. Happy New Year everyone! So here comes advent. Can't wait! Sooooo excited! 21 days 'til I leave Manila to spend Christmas with the family. Woot! Hope to share more exciting adventures with all of you soon. But for now, aside that I'm counting the days 'til I am reunited with my family again, I am excited about a hundred other things. Will list down what I can remember from the other things though.

1. My first GK Christmas party! My first ever costume party that I will be attending. I've had lots of other invitations before but when I learned that you have to dress-up as some cartoon character, or a Hollywood star, I immediately backed out. Just because I'm KJ(kill-joy) that way and I just hate dressing up! Is that even normal? Haha Now, where do I get a 70's costume? Wigs, anyone?

2. My first SFC Christmas party! The second costume party that I will be attending. Wahaha. It's a Luau naman. So I was thinking of showing up in shorts and a shirt that says "I'm a Beach Bum", a corsage and a flower in between my ears. So is that good to go? Told you I'm not a fan of costume parties. Haha

3. Divisoria!! That place never fails to excite me. The energy, the people, the noise. We went there a few days ago and I was robbed (not literally) with only P20.00 left in my pocket, hungry, tired yet agitated. Left me asking why did I ever want to be a missionary in the first place. Haha. Joke ra na Lord. Some crossroads huh? But, sigh, I just want to bring my whole Cebu gang there. They'll surely looooove it!

4. I was hoping to meet this amazing, online, and inspiring person before December 20 and learn a lot from her! Lord, let our schedules meet. :) Go visit Ate Sky's website.

5. GK Marketing Planning. GK meetings and presentations doesn't fail to excite, inspire and make me proud of being a Filipino and being part of such an amazing and talented crowd. I am always in awe how God orchestrated all these. Bringing in crazy people together, with different backgrounds, faith and beliefs, to help end poverty for 5 million Filipino families anchored on faith, integrity and love, through the culture of caring and sharing. My first GK Marketing Planning too and I am excited where God's wisdom and leading will take us next year. I am definitely throwing away my "that cannot be done" attitude and my mediocrity. For life. Yes to more opportunities on how I can expand my territory and move beyond my borders. Nation-building is not a ME thing but it'd help if each and every one of us can give our best for the least.

I'm listing five for now. Can't wait for Cebu!! I'm gonna squeeze all of my boys really tight, in a giant monster hug. Yay!

Ramblings

A post at last! Just so I have a new entry for my new blog layout. Whoopee! So many exciting and usual things that needs to be shared, documented and written so I have to find time to write. For now, I just need to write down my bucket list again (I'm doing some editing) and clean up my bed and do some errands for the family. And oh, I have to finally decide if I'm accepting that proofreading (technically not) sideline and to take my human heart nature thingamajig to the next level. There. This would be a reminder write-up for me too. 

Now, time to cap off the night with...How I Met Your Mother. 

DAY 9: Take A Break

I decided to have one today. Going off to Laguna for the weekend to spend some time with the relatives. Lots of happenings here in Manila that I'm going to miss but then again, I think I needed this. Away from the city, the noise, pollution, and online access (but I'm sure to rush in a cafe if the boss calls...hehe). Time to reconnect with myself, lay back, take a break. Spend time with my tito's family and make it up to them for missing two celebrations. two! I feel so bad thinking about it and so I am going to make it up to them.

Preparing for a busy week ahead since GK Expo's coming! I'm anticipating the pressure and the excitement. Yay!

But for now, I'm just gonna go disappear.

*Happy Birthday to the most adorable brother in the world. Dang! I miss them. I am so gonna squeeze them all in a hug when I get back in *** days. Woot! Well, in case someone's reading this. I'm keeping my going back home a secret yet. :D

DAY 8: Accountability

Amidst all the spiritual and emotional storm brewing and raging here and there, exchange of hurting words, desperate and unChristian motives, unmet expectations and disappointments, I am sure of one thing, that I am accountable to only one person. I am accountable to my God. Nothing and no one else. I am choosing hope. I am choosing love.

The storm will subside, in His time. Just as He had calmed down the storm when His apostles were frightened. I am praying though that it would be soon. Heartbroken? Yes, I am. And I am hurt the most for those who have been trampled upon with all of what's happening, especially the least. We may never know what His plans are but I continue to pray for patience and understanding and more love, especially at the most difficult of times. Human love may have failed us but God's unconditional love won't.

Love will conquer all as it always has for God is LOVE. 

Praying continues...

*We may not feel the fruits of our action now, but someday we will. There is wisdom in turning the other cheek.

*From a Gandhi Movie: We will fight their anger but we will not provoke it. We will not strike a blow even if they do. We will feel pain and they will see it. And in our pain and determination they will be hurt. We will never fail. We cannot fail.

DAY 7: Countdown

I have never been so excited to go home in the last 22 years of my existence, not until now. Woot! Let the countdown begin!

But happy that I've found a family away from my family - my GK family. 

Soooooo excited to see my boys again. :)

Home is where your heart is. Treasure your HOME. 

DAY 6: Keep Going

Two days that I missed my 30 day challenge. Sunday was a busy day and I ended up sleeping the whole afternoon since I started that day as early as 1 AM. Planned to write in the bus going home but I forgot to charge my phone. Last night, when I was just excited to blog and list my things-to-do for the week, laptop goes toot-toot then shuts down. Over and over again. Tried it again today and still the same. Looks like I really have to visit the service center later. So I ended up sleeping since I got all aaaarrrghhh so I wasn't able to do the dishes and my laundry. Heart over mind, hormones.

But I woke up today feeling better. So I pushed myself. Keep going, Maymay. No one's gonna judge you anyway if you missed those two days. What matters is that you'll keep going. No looking back. No apprehensions. And time to bring the laptop to its service center. No point in sulking and analyzing where I have gone wrong and this has to happen when I have so much work to do. But, but, there will be better days ahead. This concern of mine is no big deal compared to the people around me and what they're going through right now. Breathe.


Wherever you are right now is where God wants you to be. 

DAY 5: Happy 23!

Happy 23rd wedding anniversary to the world's bestest parents. Thinking of all the hardships and sacrifices that you both have to give just to raise us up and get through with our every day never fails to bring tears to my eyes. Raising 9 kids in this day is not easy, but you made it seem like it is. And God always provides. at the right time. at the right place. I am proud to have you both in my life. Thank you for imparting to us the importance of simplicity, respect, honesty, love of God, country and family. I am blessed and the best anniversary gift than I can ever give you both is to become a better person and giving my best in serving the poor and living my life for my God. Love you both and I miss you. sooooo much. *tear*

To the world's bestest parents, no one could ever compare to the love and sacrifice that you have given us. The world is blessed to have you. We are blessed to have you. I am proud to have you both in my life. I miss you and I love you. Praying for more blissful years ahead and together for both of you. You make me what I am today.

*now time to hit the sack. Call time is at 1:30 AM. Excited!!

DAY 5: No Deep Posts for Today

No deep posts today. Just wanna say I miss my mama. A lot. And the rest of the family. So I posted here recent conversations I had with the family. 

mama: day, kanus.a ka muuli? me: secreto para bibo. di man kaha mo mubalhin og balay? mama: sige na ga ba. ingna ko ba. mamalhin mi ron. LOL

me: ma, manawag nako sa fone ni lyn2. mama: day, magskype lang ta. LOL. wow, social. mothers.

*funny family recent update from CEBU: kuya John is newly-elected as SBO Officer in their school. His role is to warn and report elementary kids who are bringing toys, celphones, MP3s and other non-school stuffs to school. And his first convicts: tantanananan, mark and matt. tsk3. haha. both were warned for bringing all their pogs to school. the best! and at home, mama has to do her best to explain to the two boys that kuya john's just doing his "job" and that they better be good or else.*

Time is treasure and I promise that when I'll be back, I'm spending every waking time with them. Excited!!

DAY 4: Journey

It's 10 PM and we're on our way to CamSur to prepare for the International Marathon. Just finished watching SALT. Makes me miss watching Jackie Chan movies with all the kicks, punches, and rollings and the fact that he does all the stunts excites me. Good thing the bus is "sosyal" so I don't have to bear watching those Japanese movies with morbid scenes that buses usually play on their TV. Rejoice! It's gonna be an 8-10 hour travel so that means I have time to blog and to pray and well, time to sleep. Woot!

I loooove and miss travelling and that's what makes me excited for this trip too! I think the love for travelling began way back then. Road trips, boat rides, those were my first forms of travel. Riding a plane cost a fortune back then. But we were so lucky that we have a number of relatives in the Air Force so we get to ride a couple of military planes more than I've ever ridden commercial planes as of the moment. But airports truly fascinates me and I can stay in one for long hours. I think. Haven't tried it though. I just love how airports are able to bring out different emotions in people. The heaviness in one's heart when a loved one has to depart and the anticipation and rejoicing that awaits the arrival of a loved one.

We were lucky to have an Ilonggo and Boholano descent so we get to travel a lot since we were young.My family just loooooove road trips, may it be just short or long hours spent on the road. We would tag along with Papa in his mission trips as this is his way of introducing us what he really is passionate about: God, country, family.

Travelling opened my mind and helped me learn a lot of new things and that's why I want to travel more. It has opened my heart to endless possibilities of being able to reach out and serve others. Travelling in groups gets me all giddy and I cherish those times that I get to travel alone. And I dream of travelling the world! Who doesn't? But I would very much like to be able to see and explore every island here in the Philippines too!

And as they always say, life is a journey. I too believe it is. To reach the final destination is the goal but it is important that we'd allow ourselves to enjoy the sights and scenes as we go through life. To overcome the bumpy and muddy rides, the traffic jam, the pitfalls, the scary waves, the raging wind and the storms. Make time for those that matters most which for me is my God, my family, my friends, the people who have been there for me, and those that need my love the most, the least. I am but a storyteller of these wonderful lives that I get to encounter from day to day. 

Take time to read a book, say a prayer, thank a stranger, thank a loved one, say sorry, write a letter, draw, dance, bathe in the rain, sing, walk, run, jump, stargaze, start a conversation, laugh, cry, breathe, and love. For when God welcomes you in your final destination, He will surely ask you if you were able to open your heart, if were you able to love. So as we continue to search and take our own journey, may we always be grateful and be reminded to love with all that we are, not counting the cost. For He first loved us.

DAY 3: Dear You

...this is gonna be a short post since I just got home from a Singles for Christ Christian Life Program and I have to prepare my stuff for our travel to CamSur tomorrow and I have to be early in the office tomorrow. Well, earlier than the time that I usually go to the office which is...okay, I won't tell cause I can hear you telling me, "That.is.not.at.all.early!!!" Another reason is that I have to finish writing the entry that I wrote last night in my other blog.  (That other blog no longer existed.) Tired, sleepy but totally psyched and excited!!!


I realized how much I miss the community that I grew up in and I love. So I can never find a better way to say everything that I want to say but in a way that I know best, writing a letter.


Dear You,
I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have nurtured my family and has been an excellent venue for my family to know and love God, to be closer to Him each and everyday. It is you who taught us that the greatest expression of loving God is going beyond oneself, beyond our family and beyond our community. So you have led us to the slums, to the lost, to the least, bringing with us the important values of caring and sharing that you have instilled in our minds and in our hearts. Thus, Gawad Kalinga was born.


Unforeseen circumstances and outrageous storms came that rocked our world which even made me question if this is still the will of God? But then again, who am I to question His wisdom of things not yet seen? And it ended up that my love for you have dwindled. That happened twice. Heartbroken. Wounded. I never thought that I would be able to cry on many consecutive nights and simply thinking of all the heartbreaks that this has caused on the people I love never fails to make me rush into somewhere secluded and made me shed a tear or two. I prayed earnestly. I prayed harder, harder than when I prayed for my little brother's bestfriend who we almost lost due to dengue. My papa never said anything but I know deep inside he was hurting. Really, really hurt. But then, as he always says, "Focus not on the mission of God but on the God of the mission." and that he would always remind me to just focus on doing what you've always taught us from the very start, to continue to share God's love and bring glad tidings to the poor disregarding someone's faith and belief but as long as someone needs our love and care.


I found myself being distant. But I know you know that I tried to find that love again. I prayed for that. For the right moment that love will come back again. I prayed that God wouldn't stop pulling me back to you cause it was you who brought me closer to Him and made me discover what I am passionate about. It was you who brought me out of my shell and the me-existent world. It was you who made me discover what my mission and purpose in life is. I continue to attend prayer meetings, assemblies no matter how I much I was hurting inside. And that's why I struggled and here I am, on my 11th CLP tonight and God chose this time to bring the love back.


Yes, the storms continue to rage and I'm struggling amidst the hurt. But there's this tiny, tiny spark of hope that the storm will die down, eventually. The wounds are so deep that it'll take time to heal. But I know it will. Yes, I will allow myself to fall in love with you again. I know another heartbreak is coming and it scares me. The fear, the pain, I'm offering it all to the One who orchestrated our paths to cross. I will allow myself to love you again with wild abandon. I was hoping that in a way, when we'll be forcibly separated again, that you'll stand up for me. But hey, no talking about separations just yet, we have just been reunited, remember?


So I pray for you every single day. Especially those that leads your direction, that it will suddenly take a U-Turn at some point and that love of God and the least will prevail. Cherishing our present. Let's take it one day at a time. Thrilled to have more adventures with you, to learn more exciting things with you, and to give our all together as one big family so that God may be glorified. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!


Love lots,
Maymay


*now this is one long entry. Haha. Got carried away.


From The Right to Write (Chapter 4): 


"Writing wants to be written. Writing loves a writer the way God loves a true devotee. Writing will fill your life if you let it."

DAY 2: Life-long Dream

5 months. Away from home. It's been five months and three days now that I've been away from the family, friends and environment that I've spent my last 11 years of existence. Homesick? Totally!!! There are just those mornings that I wish I have my younger sisters and brothers beside me especially on Sundays when we all decide to sleep in.  I miss hearing my mama's voice call us for breakfast and this I miss the most, waking up unusually a little earlier than we used to because Papa's booming voice just wouldn't stop 'til everyone's up. Haha. Difficult, yes, but every difficulty can be surpassed, with God's grace. Thankfully, the foundation was planted deep in my heart that this is really what I wanted to do.


This I often shared when I was still in school, that all I want to do after I finish school is become a missionary. Nothing more. I remember the many times that I was asked over and over again if this is what I really wanted, and without hesitation, I would enthusiastically replied, YES. No if's and no but's. My life-long dream has always been to give back the glory to the One who planted this desire in my heart, to work in GK. And I have my family most especially my papa to thank for. My lifetime and years of working as a missionary will surely not be enough but I am hoping that the love and the divine providence that He has blessed me and my family with will reach the people who is after His own heart, the least, the wounded, the lost.


The voyage will not be smooth sailing. Who says it is and will be? Being away from the comforts of home and the people who loves me is not easy, but who says the journey towards heaven is? I am just hoping and really excited that one day, when my time will come to meet the Great Guy up there, He'll be the one to welcome me in the pearly gates of heaven with His dazzling white robe with His arms wide open saying, "Well done my good and faithful servant. You have loved! Good job, Maymay! Welcome home, welcome to paradise."


But for now, I'll take in what is set before me. The unbearable pain brought about by the wounds of loving, the immeasurable joy of being able to share all of me without expecting anything in return, the ginormous tank of blessings waiting to be poured so that I can have so much more to give. The gift of family, friends, and fellow missionaries in Christ's vineyard. The gift of loving and being loved unexpectedly. Surprises, surprises. They just doesn't stop coming. And may all of us be blessed and confident in knowing that we have God up there who is gazing at us every single minute of our life here on earth, crying and laughing with us and awaiting our return to everlasting life.


From The Right to Write (Chapter 4): 
"Taking the time to write in our lives gives us the time of our lives. "

DAY 1: All Over Again

I sometimes ponder why some things are just meant to happen once and some events happen repeatedly. Like a deja vu. Like this 30 day challenge that was supposed to end a few months ago. And just because I abruptly ended it at day 9 out of sheer laziness, now I have to do it all over again. The difference? I promised to be more dedicated at present and that I have no reason at all not to be able to do so. Resources had been provided and God has generously blessed me with the resources, earlier than expected. Just one of His usual, big time, everyday surprises. And I found myself a team to cheer me on in this 30-day journey. Wootwoot! Thank God for amazing friends. (at this time, I decided to close the FB and twitter window since they're making me veer away from the moment.)

Most of the happy times tend not to repeat itself  (on a personal point of view and no scientific study or whatsoever has been conducted about it yet.). When years or even months pass by, we often find our self, alone or with someone, trying to reminisce and relive that moment just to remind us of that happy time. And somehow, happy moments tend to be different than the other. The bad times happen repeatedly (not at all times though). Tragic or not. Big time or a small deal. It's weird like that. But I read in one of Paolo Coelho's book (which I can't remember where...I think it's in his Warrior of Light) one of the best answers to my pondering. Unfavorable circumstances occur all over again in our lives whenever we somehow didn't get the moral that that circumstance wants to impart. I read that few sentences over and over again cause it just strucked me. Let's just say I have a dose of "all over again" experiences to affirm Paolo Coelho's statement and it just amazed me that he get to sum it all up in one sentence. 

The wisdom that comes from the learned and the wise just completely blows me away. And they reach that state of wisdom-ness because of years of experience, adventure, listening, reading and reverent praying. Which I would really love to be in, someday. There's this other man's wisdom too that never fails to leave me in awe every time I read his articles and listen to him speak about love of God and country. We call him the all time love guru just because when he gets to know you more, he is simply more interested with your love life than anyone else. No kidding! Haha Read his timely articles whenever he feels like writing too. (plug ng plug ng www.gk1world.com, okay ba? Haha)

God has his own way of just bringing us to where He wants us to be, to grant the deepest desires of our heart. As always. Repetition of definite events in our life, painful or not, will always have an important lesson to impart. Doing certain things all over again may not be our idea of living the life that we want. But if that's what it takes to  just hit the head of the nail, to let the message come across, it will definitely happen again. God loves us too much not to let His lessons of sacrifice, forgiveness, sharing, giving and loving find their way to us.

*Yay, did all four today!! The 5th one, I'm about to do, after this.

From The Right to Write (Chapter 2&3): 

"When we just let ourselves write, we get it "right"."

"Let yourself write. Let yourself listen,"

"We can either "think a plot up" or we can "jot a plot down". " FROM ME: the other strains, the other liberates. Great point right here.

"Forget yourself."

"When we forget ourselves, when we let go of being good and settle into just being a writer, we begin to have the experience of writing through us."

Begin where you are.

Begin where you are.

It's 12:40 AM and I'm still up. I was supposed to blog earlier but family comes buzzing me in Skype and my supposedly one-hour or two devoted to reading and writing is reduced to a 30 minute cramming to catch up some zzzzzz's before a busy Monday.

It's kinda weird that it's been two months now that I've been putting aside books. To think I have four books stocked up in my roommate's table. I just lost my interest in them. Just like that. And I've stopped blogging regularly. Just like that. So sudden. But I am just so happy and giddy that I'm planning and forcing and bribing myself to get back. on track. of reading and writing again. I have these recent spur of the moment encounters that made me want to read and write again.

1. Back in Cebu, National Bookstore Ayala is a haven for me.  I never let a week pass by without dropping by or staying there for hours. And especially during college days, it has been one of my favorite place to escape to whenever I feel pressured (as if...haha) on many stuff that's going on in my life. Before I even came to work here in Manila a few months ago, I promise myself to find a nearby NBS or Fully-Booked that I can run to whenever. Nothing beats Fully-Booked in The Fort but it's 3 rides away from where I currently live and work so it won't work that much. But I recently discovered another book haven in Greenbelt where I can possibly sit and squat and read all the books I want. That discovery awakened my love and yearning for books again. Hooray!!!

2. I had this 30 day blog challenge a month after I arrived here in the big city and I promised myself that I would document every life and story that touches me and every struggle that I have conquered. That I would be able to share my journey towards self-discovery. God never fails to surprise me with His love-filled day to day plans for me and I would very much love to share the path that I choose to walk on. But it lasted for just 9 days. Psh. And for almost 2 months, I suddenly stopped writing. At times, especially times when I'm sooooooo inspired and I feel I have so much love to give because God has loved me generously, I find myself wanting to go find a pen and a sheet of paper to write on because there's no laptop or a desktop in sight and then I go, okay later, when I'm at home, I have to write about this and share it to other people so they too can be inspired. Which obviously, I didn't get to do. Procrastination has done a good job messing with me these few months. And I have decided to put an end to it. Right at this moment. at 1:14 AM.

3. Because people are asking me to write stories of hope here and there so that makes me want to widen my vocabulary, remember a few "oomph" words that goes right with a statement and give justice to an inspiration and fall in love with writing again. So many amazingly inspiring stories to write!! God just blows us away, every single day. More of them at www.gk1world.com

Now, I feel refreshed that I actually get to write down something no matter how senseless in a way it is. The moral, you just have to start somewhere so you can get things done. or for you to get back on track.

So I'm doing a 30 day challenge once again. Why 30? Cause I read somewhere and my bestfriend affirmed me that a thing becomes a habit after 30 days of doing it. I just forgot why. All I can figure out for now is that 30 days makes a month. Right? Street smart answer. Woohoo! LOL

The catch is that, I am not only blogging for 30 days straight, I'm having other 30 day challenges as well. And I would loooooove if someone could join me. :)
1. 30 day blogging challenge
2. Read a chapter or two a day from THE RIGHT TO WRITE by Julia Cameron. or better yet finish two books within 30 days.
3. Do my Human Heart Nature regimen once again. Haha. I tend to skip a day or even 2 just because I'm too lazy and I'm not used to doing those beauty stuff but I would very much like to support a Pro-Poor, Pro-Philippines, Pro-Environment product line so here I am trying to do this. Product review? some other time perhaps.
4. Make a To Do List before I leave the office. I have this major tendency to forget things and work that I need to get back to. Which frustrates me at times that it makes me want to solve algebra or trigonometry to make my brain restart or something. My memory is draining too soon. A glimpse of memory gap at its early stage.
5. Prayertime. I miss my God. :)

Thank you, Kuya Kirby and Ate Sky, for your blogs that continue to inspire. And to my bestfriends, please do write again. :) Join me!!!

So who wants to join me in this 30 day voyage? Just say aye, aye Captain and we will go sailing to the unknown and exciting blue waters of tomorrow. Yay!

Let's do this!!!

From The Right to Write (Chapter 1):

"Writing is like breathing. I believe that. I believe we all come into life as writers. We are born with a gift for language and it comes to us within months as we begin to name our world."


"Writing goes much better when we don't work at it so much....writing is like a good pair of pajamas-comfortable."


"Wherever you are is the entry point."

Light in the Darkness.

Brown out.

I was saying goodnight to twitter and resetting my alarm when the light suddenly went out. Just like that. It's getting late and the wind is blowing furiously, the rain continuously pours. We all were caught off guard. My first brown out here in Manila and the typhoon "Basyang" continues to spread its "lagim" outside.  We have no emergency lights, flashlights or candles prepared since we weren't expecting this to happen. Talk about being unprepared.

This simple circumstance brought me to this reflection. At times, God sends us a brown out in our lives to teach us that brownouts are necessary to help us check if we have been prepared of what is to come. Are we ready to face the brown outs of our lives armed with the flashlight and candle of hope, courage and strength? And to check if our hearts are still with Him and for Him.

A few minutes later, we heard a knock. At first, we were hesitant since we are new here and that it may mean danger or some scary thing. But after a few more knocks, a roommate decided to open it, and it was someone from our
neighboring room offering us a candle.

Sometimes, it is hard for us to open the door of our hearts and our mind to the hope and light that someone else may bring amidst the darkness. It's hard for us to trust someone and at times, we feel that we can go through the darkness alone. But God know our needs and He sends the right people to reach out to us.

And then we have a candlelight, thanks to our dorm mate who chose to care for her scared-y cat dorm mates. We have seen the light, just because our dorm mate didn't gave up in knocking in our door even though we were hesitant.

Sometimes, it takes only a single light to illuminate the darkness, a light that will pierce through the darkness. Be the beacon of hope amidst despair. Be the knight in shining armor to those who need your rescue. And be the light of faith and love that the world could ever imagine, one brown out at a time.

P.S. And then I went to the restroom after I wrote this, and realized that my phone has a flashlight (no kidding, I have this slight tendency to forget stuffs.). That I have a light, that I can be the light. I am reminded that each and everyone of us can be the light, if we chose to let our light shine so that all men will know that God dwells in us and we are but instruments of His love.

Matthew 5: 14-16

You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under a bushel basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

DREAM.

I dream that one day
Our voices will somehow fill the earth
With joy forever
I dream that someday
Our wishes will somehow soon come true
And last forever

I dream that one day our songs in some way
Will bring a bright tomorrow
Full of love full of hope full of joy

I see this one day
When all the world will hear us
That someday when all will stand before us
Singing one song together
Everywhere singing
We are gonna love you people of the world
We are gonna make you a better world
We will all respect you people of the world
We are gonna make you a better world

...and I dream that one day, that good news will abundantly fill the web and all other sources of media. As an administrator of GK1world, Gawad Kalinga's online nation-building machine, I feel I have this burden and privilege and opportunity to share inspiring and life-changing stories to the rest of the world. So you should too. Help us flood the web with inspirations from ordinary people living out extraordinarily.

I dream of a better world where each of us would learn to live selflessly and bring out the best in everyone. Hope you'll share the same dream too. I'm inviting every storyteller (all of us are) out there to join us, become a writer, be part of our team in GK1world, and it doesn't matter wherever you may be as long as you are living the GK way and have lots of juicy and inspiring stories to tell. 

P.S. Good news and inspiring stories at http://gk1world.com. All this drama came when it hit me that all I read every day are news related to violence, disaster, kidnappings, accidents and all other dreadful news. I remember there was a time that my papa forbid us from watching the news cause all it does is scare and discouraged us. So there. And that's why, every chance I get, I tell hopeful stories that I encounter in my every GK experience and in this GK journey.

And I am excited about our upcoming GK GLOBAL SUMMIT 2010 in Singapore even if I can't be there. Be there with them in spirit, prayers and via chat to update the rest of the GK family who can't make it too. So stay tuned to www.twitter.com/GawadKalingaHQ and LIKE our Facebook account: Gawad Kalinga (Official Page). Woot! Help us spread the GK virus and the nation-building disease that it brings. For love of God and country. WALANG IWANAN!

Yep, Yep, Yep!

I'm back. I'll be trying to explain this sudden interruption of my 30 day blog challenge. And hopefully I'll be able to share some lesson and God moments here and there. So, I've already skipped blogging for more than a week. First, it was because the unavailability of internet and then laziness started to take its toll. So now I'm trying to think and see if I'll do it all over again or just blog whenever I feel like it. So here's a reflection that just dawned upon me just now, like a smack on my face. We are just lucky that God doesn't just do a 30 day of blessing, loving, molding, and watching over us but for a lifetime. And as much as this 30 day,supposedly, was a challenge and a struggle for me, His lifetime package of abundance isn't. And the best part is, there's no unavailability of blessings that would cause Him to stop filling us up with needed strength and inspiration to last us for a day, a week, a year and even for an eternity. And we would be doomed if laziness starts to take its toll on Him. That would mean havoc and total chaos. And the best part is, He doesn't love us only when He feels like it, but has decided to love us for the rest of eternity. Bigtime. So would like to end this reflection with my God Whispers that made my day and has definitely reprogrammed my mind that this week is gonna be a blessed and love-filled one. 

Love the choice of words. So me. with the yep, yep, yep! Wootwoot! Nothing beats the love of God! I will indeed get all the gusto I can and live life full of purpose and passion. One day at a time. And at the end of the race, I look forward to hear God say, "You did it Maymay! Yep, Yep, Yep! Now I welcome you to the coolest paradise there is, HEAVEN."

DAY 9: Be Grateful.

Had this conversation with a friend yesterday,

Me: May lagi gyud wala na lang ko nipalit og Starbucks. (I shouldn't have bought Starbucks.)

Friend: Ayaw na. No regrets. Nag-enjoy man kaha ka? (Don't. No regrets. As long as you enjoyed it.)

Me: O. Lami man ang caramel. (Absolutely. Love the caramel!)

Thought bubble: I'm not much of a translator. Even from Bisaya to English.

So there. Lesson learned. We had this conversation cause after I bought coffee, I realized I don't have any money left in my wallet in that afternoon and to think there's dinner to spend pa. I wasn't even praying for a free dinner yet God still sent me free dinner. Thank you Lord for surrounding me with abundantly generous people. He never fails to surprise and His generosity can never be outdone. The lesson there, learn to count your blessings, be grateful. Focus on the blessings and you'll never ran out of things to be thankful for. I remember having this almost same conversation with my bestfriend through chat... since she's miles away from me.

Me: Bestfriend!!! How is u? Kahibaw ka, nakapurchase bitaw ko og starbucks tungod og meeting. twice na. feeling gyud nako nakasala ko kay mahal rba. hahaBestfriend: ahaha! char na kaayo ka hap. meeting2 nakag starbucks. Karelate ko ana, mura kag maguilty kay mahal pero ayaw lang na tagda bestfriend ahaha! The Lord has always given us enough. We should live out our gratitude by being always thankful for the big and small things. ehehe, naa sad bitaw panahon na wa tay lami na kan-om...ahaha, pero thankful japon ta. :D

no translations na. so, so long conversation. hehe. Go figure!

The point, I deserve God's blessings and what I have right now. There are just those times that I feel guilty over something just because I think I don't deserve such blessing. Big letter "I" think. But that's not what the way God thinks. God knows that each one of us deserve His love, mercy, generosity and blessings and it is up to us to open ourselves to His extravagant love. We can never fathom God's wisdom and what we can do is have a grateful heart. Count our blessings, stay happy and grateful, open our hearts for the tons of blessings coming our way, and share His love.

DAY 8: Today is I LOVE YOU day!

Heard from Disney Channel a few hours ago that today is I LOVE YOU day! That day does exist after all. But for me, everyday should be I LOVE YOU day. Makes me want to call home...later. My papa never fails to include these three words when he sends a text. My papa is a man of a few words (but when he's in his happy and exciting mood, all he does is talk about GK and the environment and he goes teasing mama and all) so his texts such as this really means a lot. And that gets to rub off on me, mama and my younger brother. I carried that over and my best friends are mushy people too so I get I love you's a lot. My "macho" younger brother's sudden mushiness is truly a surprise. I got his ever first text message that ended with an I love you a few months before. I was shocked and excited and can't stop teasing him about it. I really kept that one (and as I was looking through my phone after I wrote this sentence, some of the text messages that I kept are gone...hmmmm) The day before I left for Manila, we had this normal fight between brothers and sisters. He went home a few hours after I reached home and he handed me flowers. Red roses bouquet. First flowers I received. Ever. So that means a lot. I was melting inside, like aaaaaawwwwwww. And I couldn't imagine that we were mortal enemies as early as 3 years old to around early high school days chasing and wrestling each other when we feel like, you know, arguing and fighting. So that's a big leap and a big change in him. How about you? Have you said I love you to the most important people you love? A kiss and a hug means a lot. As they say, action speaks louder than words. Have you thank and receive a hug and a kiss from the greatest Lover of all time? Have you set a date with Him yet? I have this feeling that when we tend to forget to spend time with Him, even for just a few minutes in a day, He goes planning something out to catch your attention. A sunrise or a sunset, an unexpected surprise, a concern that will make you seek Him, a blessing that will make you thank Him. And you know how much He really, really loves you? More than all the love in the world put together, higher than the highest part of the skies and deeper than the deepest depths of the sea, more than we can ever imagine. He love you that much that He sent His only Son to save you and me. This much.

DAY 7: Stars

“Indescribable, Uncontainable, You make the STARS in the sky and you know them by name, you are amazing GOD.”

Who would look up the stars and wouldn’t believe in God’s magnificence. His love for intricacies, and His unfathomable wisdom in details. I love stars, and up till now, I am still awed whenever I see these shining, glimmering heavenly bodies. (I just miss these tiny stuffs since I don’t get to see them here in Manila, except the shining yet not glimmering light from the posts in the busy streets). That song up there has been playing in my head for hours. LSS, thanks to a friend. (hi Ate Marj…J) Excited for the concert. Yaaay! And I remember, I have this fascination about stars from the songs to photos and stuffs and even thought of having a star collection. Virtually will be healthier, budget-wise. I remember that whenever we get to go out at night and see the stars (star-gazing bonding is a must), me and my sister will go looking for Orion’s belt and Big Dipper. And only that, since we’re not familiar with other star constellations. I have even included in my bucket list to wish on a shooting star since I haven’t seen one yet.  hopefully in my lifetime, I will. Reminded me of one of my favorite Kids for Christ (KFC) song, “Superhero”, where one line goes, “He’s the one who hangs the STARS, one by one”. And another praise song entitled “Praiseworthy” with a line that goes, “Im forever thankful for the stars in the night. How they sparkle and light up the night skies. All of these is beauty oh how profound. All of this power.. all of this Love.” Stars indeed make you worship its Maker, and above all, we should be STAR struck to its Creator. Like the stars, our Maker would want us what stars do best, SHINE. Shine amidst the stubborn darkness that surrounds us to glorify the Author of Life. Shine to give light to those who live in the night of despair. Stand up, stand out and stand firm. For it is in giving the best of who you are are you able to bring out the best and greatness in others. Let me leave with you my favorite movie quote of all-time from the movie Coach Carter. 

” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. “

DAY 6: Simple Joys.

To be able to have a good night sleep after a long and inspiring day. Rest is indeed a gift that should never be taken for granted. The joy of being able to wake up to a new day of another week. Another week to inspire and be inspired. The joy of waking up beside someone (not what you think it is…haha. =P) I’ll never wake up alone as long as my roommates are here. The joy of being able to commute to and from work and say the words “bayad po” and “para”. That reminds me that I am an inch closer to master my “tagalong” linguahe. J An inch. *insert nod here*. The joy of being able to arrive at the office early and safe for my roommates’ have their weekly Monday meetings. Busy people, taking care of GK’s partnerships, of our generous partners, and finding more partners who’re willing to join in nation-building and in this crazy and thrilling  ride towards Vision 2024 (uplifting 5 million Filipino families from poverty). The joy of sipping my hot “tablea” drink and onion-flavored crackers straight from Cebu, and personally funded by the Balatayo family. Thanks Ma! The joy of arriving in an eventful office filled with the hustle and bustle of ever passionate and enthusiastic GK people. I will forever be amazed of these people’s energy and zest for life. The joy of sharing a story or two after the weekend, lunch or even dinner together, and the ultimate joy of being able to laugh til your tummy hurts and tears start to well in your eyes. Despite the weight of their work that the whole country, or when the right time comes, the world, that is waiting upon, it never is a burden since everyone is up for sharing the load. Passion indeed fuels force and vigor. Joyful people who never fails to enjoy the simple joys along the journey, knowing when to stop and rest, and to give their all and their best especially to the least. Its simple joys such as these that gives life more meaning. It’s simple joys such as these that makes life worth-living. Take time and take in these simple joys. Get carried away in the pleasure of enjoying the simplicity that life brings and you’ll never ran out of reasons to smile and blessings to be grateful for.

DAY 5: Inspiration.

*accidentally deleted Day 4: Senseless Blah. Hay. 

I thought of writing an article for today’s activity when the sun was at its highest peak today, amidst the cheerful chatters of the sporty-clad SIGAs behind me, and the excitement around me brought about by the partial announcement of winners, but decided against it. Too early. And I was on the bleachers of other side of the main stage area, assigned for re-announcing the sectors that’ll be playing a certain sport. So there I was, left to watch all that is happening around me, happy, filled with enthusiasm, and who would’ve have thought that these youth come from less fortunate families than I am. Honestly, they look more “sosyal” than I am. Seriously. Their smiles and laughters, contagious. Their stories, extraordinary and inspiring. I even thought I was in a YFC-ILC Conference and I would have to remind myself that it was a SIGA Olympics. You wouldn’t know the difference, physically, emotionally and spiritually. We started the event with an opening worship and they do praise like there’s no tomorrow. And they would best know how to be grateful since some of these youth really did experience the hardest of times. On the streets, out of school, drugs, vices, you name it, they’ve had it. And because GK has started and never stopped dreaming for the poor, these youth will have a brighter future and we will get to see a better Philippines. I even met a new friend, Nancy from GK Arkong Bato. She’ll be an incoming freshman at De La Salle University and will be taking up Early Childhood Education. Kudos to La Salle for giving a great privilege such as this. Nancy is one of the less than a hundred SIGA scholars that are studying in La Salle. Indeed, the best for the least. And she shares, that one day, she wants to give back and work fulltime for GK too. When God’s hand is at work, anything and everything is possible. A dose of inspiration here, a little of imagination there and loads of faith, hope and love, life-changing circumstances does occur. Marikina Sports Complex showcased a glimpse of heaven that day, filled with games, sports events, fun, faith, freedom, friendship, and of course free food for us service teams. As much as I want to be God’s messenger of love and inspiration that day, I was the one moved, inspired, and blessed. An affirmation that indeed GK is God’s work and I wouldn’t mind dedicating every second of my life, shedding a tear or two, offering every drop of my blood (yes, GK is padugo), and wasting my life in living the GK way. Cause with heartaches and heartbreaks comes God’s great promise of eternity and a better tomorrow for these youth and more youth and their families that GK will continue to nurture and love. And I know it will be so much worth the fight til the end. So much worth it.

DAY 3: Abundance.

This day turned out to be abundant with great food and great friends. And this day is just like any other day in my existence. And I thought this experience of taking the risk of living away from my family and going beyond my comfort zone right after college will be a time of scarcity. Especially with the food part. But God's timing is always right. Never fails. He sends the right people to make my stay here easier than what I've imagined it to be. Yes, I do have that weird gift of predicting the future based on my own perception of what the bad days ahead would be. I'm sometimes trying to scare myself no matter how God tries to make His presence and providence be very visible. I sometimes wonder why are we like that? We try to make someone prove their worth and what's sad is even if they already did everything they could, we chose to turns our backs and not accept their worth. But good thing God doesn't give up on us no matter how stubborn and brats we are. And He never will. So let's learn to open ourselves to the avalanche of blessings around us. Thank the people who've been God's instrument of providence and love. 

Got to go, I've got a FREE dinner to catch with great friends. what can i say, God's spoiling me that much.  

DAY 2: God Whispers.

A whisper is something uttered softly. To keep something private and to keep that someone close. A sharing of secrets, imparting words of comfort and even of love. And wouldn't you be enthused when you get to share hushed and intimate messages of love with the greatest Lover of all time.

God Whispers. This is sent to you via email when you subscribe to GodWhispers Club. You get to receive God’s personal and intimate message for you at least twice a week. It will sure to inspire and make your day. Below is my first ever God whispers:

Dear Maymay,

If only you see what I see in you.  Then you'll realize how great I am—and how great you are.

Your Infinite Source of Blessings,
God

P.S. I'll give you a hint.  Maymay, you're more magnificent than quadrillion suns put together.  (And I know suns.  I made every single one of them.)

Who wouldn’t be inspired and brought into tears when you get to read this? I always look forward to the arrival of this motivating love letters from my Maker. My outlook for the rest of the day stays positive and loving. Reminds me to grow and stay grounded in God’s love and faithfulness. Especially when my day turns out not so right, reading these messages never fail to bring me back on my feet again. And I admit, it really is addicting.

My recent God Whispers:

Dear Maymay,

This is your mission.  To become what you were born to be.  You were born to bless and heal and love in a very specific, fantastic way.  I don't know about you, but it's really incredibly exciting just making it all come to pass.

Live with passion,
God

P.S. Your destiny is waiting for you, Maymay.  You'll love it.

This had me all goosebump-y. An affirmation of the work that I believe I am called to do. Another everyday glimpse of God's immeasurable wisdom and extravagant love for us. Sometimes, we just need to shut down the clatter and the rowdy stuffs of our everyday so we’ll get to listen to our heart speak. God’s plans for us are rooted in the deepest desires of our heart. And  I do believe that when you finally discover the purpose of your existence, you'll be happy, excited, passionate and be able to conquer every fear and every obstacle that comes your way.

This idea of Bo Sanchez of God Whispers is just superb!

DAY 1: Written.

day 1. whopee! i am having a hard time of thinking of something to start off this write- up. so here it goes...

I remember a few years back, I kept a diary, hidden under my unruly stash of clothes, where I write all my thoughts and activities for the day. Elementary and early high school days. Sometimes, I go into details especially when the day turns well or extremely disappointing and bad. At other times, I write in full or sometimes only half of the page. But the thing there is, I actually get to write almost everyday. I love to write letters and have loads of them from friends. Good thing my best friends love to give and write long letters too. That means an addition to my stack. A manually written letter means a gift of time and effort and that equates to love. At present, as much as i want to put aside my inspirations to write cause I get too lazy or too preoccupied to do some other more important things, it will always come back haunting me. I often find myself having conversations within my mind. Talking to oneself is common and may still be weird in public but having a battle of conversation going through one's head is not an everyday scenario (i'm really weird...haha). I find it ironic that when you start to think what you're going to write, you'll have a hard time processing what you want to write but when you allow yourself to follow the rhythm and write whatever comes to your mind, you actually get to write more sense-ful stuffs. The best thing is that you'll get to astonish and surprise yourself of how good that write-up turned out to be. And I actually love to read blogs and write-ups. So I find myself comparing to other writers and bloggers, which makes me not see myself as a "real" writer. Too much analyzation is going on when I start comparing thus I end up not writing at all. But I'll put an end to that. From now on, i'll stop comparing and start writing. well, that's what the next 30 days will be about. finding and rediscovering the passion within. and if this is where God is planting me, I know this is where He wants me to grow.  If it's His will, then let it be. after all, it will always be about Him and no one else.

Thoughts of a Nation- Builder

Thoughts of a nation-builder. I was thinking of creating a new blog site for my thoughts as I continue my journey as a nation-builder and a full-time missionary. Got all inspired and excited to write when Kuya Kirby shared his stories about blogging and after reading through his song compositions and write-ups. I was thinking of that before whenever I see myself working fulltime for GK. That every life- changing and heart melting story of every volunteer, kapitbahayan and partner ought to be shared and passed on. Just realized now that because I ultimately want to share, as much as possible, every inspiring GK story to everyone i meet and come across, I am where I am now, the marketing team of GK. God's amazing coincidences. And though I am an office girl, (which I don't really see myself be, because I was envisioning myself before to be travelling a lot and doing the work on the grounds. but it's okay, i'm still loving it anyways since i know in one way or another, I am contributing to GK's vision of a slum-free Philippines :) I know I'll still find a lot of inspiring stories to share since I'll have my weekends, hopefully, to be involved in GK activities on the ground. I'll give myself 30 days to write daily of anything and everything under the sun, and if i get through the 30 days , i'll think about creating a new one. I need to have the discipline to write and not just to write whenever I am inspired or feel like doing it and ignite my passion to write and tell stories through writing (since i'm not really good at expressing myself verbally). I recently read a book which i forgot what the title was, that you need not write when inspired, first you can write with your mind, the heart sure will follow.

so hopefully i'll get through the 30 days. *fingers crossed*